We want our bubbly baby back

It’s been rough to go back to the silent, locked up Reese after so many weeks of our bubbly girl.

Today we didn’t give her the morning dose of the newer seizure med, Benzal, and while she was still groggy this morning she perked up tonight. We got two half smiles for different simple gestures and she was trying so hard to study our faces.

I say perked up because she showed interest in something other than her steroid-induced food obsession. Enamored with D, she played with his hair at bedtime and that made his night.

I am observing him closely because the past week he has shown more signs of feeling perhaps jealous or confused. And it hit me that on top of the usual emotions of competing with Reese for attention, he is about to have a huge change with school. Maybe without knowing what the change really means he senses the uncertainty. That, plus, I really believe he has been more upset or emotionally lacking because he misses Reese paying attention to him, even more than wanting it from us. His need for her to laugh at him may be more affected by her foggy spells than I realized. We all were spoiled after several weeks of basking in her precious happiness.

So here’s hoping tomorrow is even better and that dropping the dose is the right move so we can get our bubbly baby back.

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