I think it’s been hard for me to share this image because it makes it real and permanent. And even though we know we’ve done the right thing, there’s this feeling — call it parent peer pressure maybe? — that people won’t be able to understand how we could let them do this to her brain. And then of course, there’s also the part that Reese hates me for sharing all this with the world, because she wants to forget it ever happened. I’ve told myself if she can actually do that, then it means we’ve succeeded. This whole thing can then become a memory captured in digital outerspace, and she and I will have a virtual (and a very real) BURNING party to destroy all the evidence, if that’s what she wants.
The truth is Bryan and I admittedly find the science behind all this fascinating. We’re geeks. And when the neurosurgeon sits down to walk you through the images like this and is almost giddy at the success and the quality of the imagery, you can’t help but kind of follow him into the nerdy world of studying brains and find yourself in awe of what technology has enabled here. Not to mention how incredibly smart everyone is to figure all this out.
So now to the image — if you’re curious enough to zoom in and see details, on the far left you see a scan from the top (two white balls are eye sockets). Scans are reversed, so the dark empty space on the right is actually her left lobe where they removed a good 5-6 cm of unhealthy brain tissue. We will find out more about what was wrong with those cells in a couple weeks when a biopsy report comes back. From what we understand the space will even out with spinal fluid and everything keeps on living in peace.
And peaceful she is. She has slept allllllll day. We’ve had a few moments where she is awake long enough to take water, eat a little applesauce, or just cry to let us know she IS in fact aware of all the fussing we are doing. She hasn’t sat up or really done anything physical, until of course we rolled her in the wagon 100 yards to the surgical recovery floor. She is still being monitored through blood work ups and lots of nurses waving flash lights in her super swollen-shut eyes. Tomorrow is another day and we shall see if she feels ready for trying something different.
Hope everyone is able to sleep as well as she is. Even me.
This is what post-seizure looks like. First one in public. Good thing we are wearing our purple #epilepsyawareness